Sara Scalper is a delightfully genderfluid, queer, nonmonogamous lifestyle sadist who has been topping for 14+ years, have been involved in the public BDSM scene for over a dozen, and has been a part of the Boston scene since 2010. They self-identify as 75% intersexed being, 20% Amazonian woman, and 5% primal male (these identities are constantly in flux), but are always 100% ethical sadist.
They also get great pleasure from being a “scene aunt” to newer folks in the scene, teaching them how to top safely (via classes or one-on-one instruction) and/or how to negotiate so they have safe, satisfying scenes. They can often be found with their lovely wife and collared submissive, AJ, and their extended “poly family,” and love to talk ethical nonmonogamy as much as they do BDSM.FetLife
From the Sensual to the Sadistic:
Calibration = Good Scenes For Every Body
What is calibration, you may ask? Well, the dictionary definition is “the act of checking or adjusting the accuracy of an instrument.” Applying this concept in a BDSM context in a scene, a top’s body (and their implements, an extension of their body) is the instrument. The top can adjust their movements, what implements they use, the intensity of their use, the patterns they are used in, etc. to become more “in tune” with the bottom. This results in a more satisfying scene for all.
Toppy folks will learn how to negotiate safely and thoroughly with bottoms, clearly read the communication signals that bottoms give off during a scene, and calibrate their actions resulting in longer and more satisfying scenes.
Bottomy folks will learn what to look for when negotiating with a potential top as well as ways to communicate how they’re feeling during a scene in order to assist the top in calibration.
Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Negotiation, Ever!
Want to create an amazing scene or a lasting BDSM relationship and don’t know where to start? Communication is key, and the most important form of communication that should be occurring during the early stages of forming any connection is negotiating what each party wants from the interaction/relationship.
Sara Scalper (with assistance from their lovely wife, AJ) will show you how to negotiate for a variety of types of scenes (basic SM, physical edge play, D/s, emotional edge play, etc.) as well as regarding the protocols and minutiae of a potential D/s relationship. Whether you’re an old pro or are just dipping your toe into the kink scene, join this class and learn some new ways of communicating your scene and relationship needs.
You’re a Sadist and It’s Okay
Many of us have felt immense guilt when we’ve realized just how much we enjoy hurting people, due to social constructs. Newsflash: enjoying being sadistic is perfectly okay in a safe, ethical, and fully consensual context, and being able to be sadistic doesn’t mean you must be cold or lack empathy. Discuss some of the difficulties you’ve have had when embracing your sadistic tendencies as well as an exploration of why these difficult feelings occur.
Explore misconceptions regarding sadism as well as different types of ethical sadism/sadist archetypes. There will be a “develop your inner sadist” portion where we’ll share deviously delicious tips and tricks on ways to cause hurt without causing harm.
Note: there will be a “section” of this class devoted to female-identified or femme-presenting folks who identify as tops/sadists, as they have their own particular struggles in regards to their sadist identities.
Coming Out: What? Who? Why? Where? How?
Everyone knows that “coming out” regarding anything (being GLBTQ, kinky, non-monogamous, etc.) is difficult and potentially life-changing, but not everyone is aware of the potential consequences of not “coming out.”
Lifestyle sadist/dominant, kink educator, and professional therapist Sara Scalper will use this class to talk about what “coming out” means, the repercussions of not coming out, and the stresses related to coming out, and will additionally offer tips for coming out and techniques for self-care during the coming out process. They will also talk about coming out regarding consent violations, as these occur frequently in our community and folks often face similar stresses when choosing whether or not to reveal what has happened to them as well as similar repercussions when they do not reveal them.
The last portion of the class will function as a discussion, allowing people to share their coming out stories and their own tips and tricks, as well as to ask questions/brainstorm about potential “Coming Out” approaches. Whether you’re so out of the closet that the door’s locked behind you or you’re in the back behind all the coats, come join us as we discuss something that affects the lives of everyone in the kink community.